How to make a second marriage work

Think, rethink, and then think again - You’ve been married before, so it’s normal that you’ll find yourself analyzing the possibility of remarrying over and over again.

Watch out for red flags -
Speaking of red flags, what are the things you definitely don’t want in a relationship? Is this new love really everything you want in a partner for life?

Don’t rush it -
Equally important is to take the time to get to know your new partner well.

Are you healed from your previous relationship? - A divorce is tough and it can indeed be very hard to go through and heal completely.

Have you spent some time on your own? - It’s important to stay single for a while after divorce, before you jump headfirst into another marriage. 

Are you marrying for the right reasons? - Some people really don’t want how to be alone. It’s important that you are not marrying over the fear of being alone, either in the present or the future.

You might end up marrying the same type of person - We are creatures of habit, so it’s very likely that you will feel attracted to someone who feels familiar.

You won’t replace your old family dynamic - Family dynamics are unique to the couple and children. You won’t be able to replicate your family life, and you might end up longing for it. 

You’ll likely take your marriage quite seriously - Marrying for the second time means that you are giving the concept of marriage another chance. This means you believe and respect it. 

Touching might not come as naturally as it once did -  You’re not young and naïve, so you might not feel like always being physically connected to your partner. 

You'll put in more effort -
You really want to make it work this time, right? So you’ll likely put in more effort in your second marriage, compared to your first one.

You will compare your second marriage to your first one - This is normal. You have a past, and that past is part of you. You will make comparisons between the two and try to avoid the same mistakes.

Your expectations might be a bit too high - Sure, you expect your second marriage to be a success, but by setting your expectations unrealistically high, you might feel let down.

Your new family might be hard work - "The family members may get too involved in the relationship and the spouse feels like they're getting ganged up on," points out therapist Courtney Geter.

Blended family -
Do you or/and your new spouse have kids? If so, you should consider all the complexities of having a blended family. 

Your sex life will be different - People are different. The routines and preferences you had with your previous spouse will be different from the ones you will now have with your new partner.

Check the law -
Before you decide to walk down the aisle again, check your local laws and regulations. Can you and your partner legally remarry?

You can make it work -
Still, some people have beautiful and fulfilling second marriages, so why can’t you be one of them, right?

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