How to survive mom guilt
What is mom guilt? -
Put simply, mom guilt is the feeling, or worry, of not doing enough as a parent, an all-pervasive sense of failure in raising your kids.
Blame game -
Moms, especially if they are new parents, blame themselves for a perceived inefficiency as a mother.
Working full-time -
One of the most common guilt-inducing decisions mothers make is working full time.
Stay-at-home mom -
Conversely, stay-at-home mom guilt can emerge with a mother's desire to spend time away from their children even while at home.
Society stereotype -
Today, modern society expects women to be perfect wives and mothers while holding down decent, well-paid jobs. And these unfair expectations are quite often too much to bear.
Signs of mom guilt -
Mothers acting in anger towards their kids is a common sign of mom guilt.
Psychological effects -
Parenting is hard work. Transitioning into motherhood is associated with a higher risk for psychiatric distress.
Sleep deprivation -
Raising a newborn will impact the sleep quality of both parents. But when aligned with feelings of guilt, sleep deprivation can morph into chronic fatigue.
Low self-esteem -
A constant belief that you're a bad mom can negatively affect your self-worth and self-acceptance.
Don't compare yourself with others -
Beware in comparing yourself with other mothers and their children in the community, especially through social media.
Ending it all -
In extreme cases, a mom guilt complex can lead to a desire to end one's life. For anyone feeling this way, seeking professional help is critical.
Coping with mom guilt -
There are several ways of coping with mom guilt, and self-care is at the top of the list. But how do you rid yourself of all that guilt and get back on track?
Identifying the causes -
Why are you feeling guilty? Step back and concentrate on identifying the source of all those negative sentiments.
Listen to your kids -
Try activating your mother's intuition by listening to your children. Kids are wonderful sources of information on whether your decisions are working.
Words of wisdom -
Use their words of wisdom to help identify areas you should and shouldn't feel guilty about. This in turn will guide you in achieving an acceptable work-life balance.
Practice self-compassion -
Stall your guilt trip by practicing a little self-compassion. By doing so it allows room for you to forgive yourself for any mistakes you've made in motherhood.
Get out more -
Step back from parenting. It's important to get out now and again, perhaps with a group of colleagues from work, or as part of a girls night out.
When to work with a therapist -
If you're still struggling with an overwhelming sense of shame and liability, you might want to consider working with a coach or therapist.