"It's too cold" - Okay, could we all use this one once in a while? Surely, many of us have felt like it's too cold to leave the house.
"My mother was attacked by a a chicken" - The dangers of country living are real. Luckily, you came to her rescue.
"My car was surrounded by a swarm of bees" - How can one possibly get into a car surrounded by bees, right?
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"I woke up at this place and I don't know where I am" - Sure these things can happen. When you're not working the next day, at least.
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"I thought it was Saturday today" - We've all had that feeling at least once in our lives, but then the alarm goes off, and we get up to go to work.
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"I injured my little toe" - How can one possibly work with a an injury as serious as this one?
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"There’s a 'hit' out on me" - Okay, maybe you've upset the wrong people and need to watch your back. But why is a hitman looking for you today, specifically?
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"I got my fingers stuck in a bowling ball" - Don't you hate it when you go to the bowling alley and that happens?
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"My psychic told me not to go to work" - When the universe tells you not to go to work, you should listen. Especially if the message is channeled through your psychic...
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"I woke up in a good mood and didn't want to ruin it" - Sometimes, honesty is not the best policy. Still, this is a clear sign you need to change your job.