Signs you're sabotaging your relationship, and how to stop
Cheating -
Cheating isn’t always pure lust. A person may cheat to either consciously or unconsciously end the relationship, especially if they feel they don’t deserve love or their partner.
Lack of commitment -
Lack of commitment happens when the relationship progresses and titles like boyfriend or fiancée are natural, but you won't say the words or commit to any deeper feelings.
Holding grudges -
Holding grudges is common relationship sabotaging behavior, which often stems from your own insecurity and feelings of inferiority.
Not communicating -
A number of self-sabotaging behaviors involve not communicating clearly or openly, which can be very damaging to the relationship.
Passive aggression -
Passive-aggressive behavior can come from a part of you that’s afraid or uncomfortable with experiencing the negative emotions of confrontation.
Disrespectful behavior -
Self-sabotage in a relationship can be abusive. Especially if it involves gaslighting, manipulation, ignoring boundaries, and physical violence.
Lack of trust - In a healthy relationship, your partner shouldn’t have to constantly earn your trust.
Always wanting to be right -
Compromise is essential in any relationship. However, if you have a need to be right all the time, you'll most likely be lonely as well.
Talking often about past relationships - If you constantly discuss or complain about the person who came before your present partner, you'll likely leave a negative impression. It's time to move on.
Feeling unworthy -
If you have self-esteem issues, it’s time to get the help you need. Your problems aren't your partner’s responsibility.
Lack of romance -
Romance doesn't have to end after you've been together a while. Maintaining a relationship is also about keeping the romance alive and making your partner feel loved.
Lack of quality time -
There needs to be more of an effort to see your partner and spend time with them. Quality time is an important part of any relationship dynamic.
Walking away is easy -
People expect everything to go perfectly all the time. But when you feel disappointed, it’s best to communicate with your partner rather than to cut ties suddenly.
Putting energy into everything except your relationship - A big sign of self-sabotage is if you're putting all your energy into work, your hobbies, or the other people in your life.
Not keeping small promises -
If you regularly break promises regarding what time you'll be home or when you'll be spending quality time, this could mean that your partner will eventually resent you.
Using the silent treatment -
Refusing to speak to someone in your life out of anger, or to teach them a lesson, is extremely toxic. It can be very harmful to any relationship.
What causes self-sabotaging behavior in relationships? - However, learned behaviors, attachment style, or past experiences are factors that tend to factor in.